This I Believe: Why We Are - and Should Be - Grateful, by Lance Smith

Lance Smith

September 20, 2012

Oratory: This I Believe

Where does one begin when telling somebody that they likely should change their mentality towards almost everything in life? After all, I strongly believe that almost everybody in the world should be much grateful for just about everything. I also think that a lot of people think they are, when actually, they’re doing it wrong. Before myself I have compiled a list of depressing statistics that will make most people feel much better about their lives, tantalizingly deep quotes about gratitude, and game-changing research explaining that being thankful in general has clinically proven health benefits. Maybe I should start with a sad, touching anecdote.

Celiac disease: An allergy to gluten, which is wheat, barley, rye, and some oats, so severe that the term allergy doesn’t cut it. When one doesn’t realize that they have celiac disease until they’re almost in high school, almost every system in the body is attacked in an autoimmune response that can leave lasting effects. My health has been a wreck all my life in ways people wouldn’t expect to be affected simply by eating something they shouldn’t. As a result of the celiac disease, I had plantar fasciitis, abdominal ataxia, a montage of nervous system and structural deficiencies, other allergies that I actually wasn’t born with, and a laughably bad immune system. Every system in my body was screwed up, and I developed a series of noncancerous tumors in my chest that had to be removed surgically. Because of my terrible immune system, I contracted a horrific brain disease at the age of 10 called PANDAS (pediatric autoimmune neurological disorder associated with strep).

PANDAS is a weird disease that is quite costly to treat and much worse to deal or live with. Dealing with it contributed to the destructions of my parents’ marriage, their bankruptcy, and my lack of childhood. We were screwed over by multiple insurance companies, and every doctor I saw only brought us farther from the solution. It wasn’t until 6th grade when I saw a therapist that referred me to a special chiropractor (who I still see) that any progress was made. It wasn’t until 8th grade that I was tested for celiac disease and PANDAS that any sense of normalcy came to my health. Stopping eating gluten is the greatest, albeit most difficult to execute decision that I ever made for a variety of health reasons.

Still, it was over a year after diagnosis before my parents came up with the funds for the IVIG treatment for PANDAS. And now that I’ve had it, I still have fluctuating symptoms of PANDAS, because I had it for so long that I need another treatment. I just started having some of those same weird symptoms again, like the relentless painful tics in my neck and ankle, things not feeling or even tasting the same, and a veritable smorgasbord of bizarre repetitive thoughts and worries that torture me when I lie down and try to sleep creating a constant sleep deprivation and exhaustion. Not to mention weird structural deficiencies that they never go away. I still have incredibly brittle bones and tendons. I still will get sick from a crumb of gluten. For almost two years, I’ve had asthma so bad that occasionally I pass out. It’s hard to function sometimes, let alone play basketball.

I know what it’s like to have little to be thankful for. But I also have been incredibly lucky at times. Where would I be if I didn’t randomly go to a psychologist who may be the only one in the world that would refer me to one of the only chiropractors in the world that could help me? What if my mom didn’t happen to have gotten a job offer a few years ago at Hill Park Medical Center, which possesses the only PANDAS treatment clinic west of Chicago, where their head pediatrician is one of the only practitioners who takes the medical approach needed for a disaster case like myself? Most importantly, what if my mom wasn’t the greatest, most unrelenting mother in the world who happens to have gone to nursing school? If any one of these things didn’t fall into place, I would certainly not be standing here before you. Nor would I be if I hadn’t gotten really lucky with the financial aid at Sonoma Academy. See, my luck isn’t even just about health. Sometimes normal person blessings happen to me too.

The truth is, I’m really angry about my health over the course of my life. But what a waste it would be if I didn’t just think sometimes about how much I have to be grateful for. In fact, it’s better for my health this way. God knows I need it.

According to a dailygood.org article written by UC Davis psychology professor Robert A. Emmons, people who regularly practice gratitude are physically healthier. They have stronger immune systems, less pain, lower blood pressure, and better exercise habits and sleep patterns.

Practicing gratitude makes people more helpful, generous, compassionate, forgiving, and outgoing while making people feel less lonely and isolated.

Most impressive were the psychological results. Those same participants reported sharp increases in overall positive emotions, alertness, joyfulness, optimism, and plain happiness.

So what baffles me is how people complain about how the new Mustang their parents bought them isn’t as cool as the Corvette they wanted when anybody making $25,000 per year is well into the top 10% of income earners in the world. By the way, that means the new Mustang you got was probably at least a year’s worth of salary for the 90th percentile income earner; the Corvette was definitely two years worth.

I’ve heard people talk about the terror of not going to Paris over Spring Break, but instead, Maui. The average salary of a worker of any sort in Afghanistan is $14. That weeklong Maui trip you’re complaining about is worth almost 10 years salary for one middle class Afghani person. And that’s only one person’s travel expenses. My mom and I haven’t had a single vacation in almost 6 years. What we wouldn’t give to go to Maui, or Mexico – or Tahoe, Monterey or even just the East Coast to see our much missed friends and family.

And even if you’re slightly more down-to-Earth and you say that high-quality designer clothing, 3-day music festival tickets, or even eating at restaurants except on occasion aren’t for poor people like you, and yes, I have said that before, please keep in mind that 37 million Americans, which is almost an eighth of the population, are literally in poverty.

Emmons concluded that gratitude allows people to appreciate the now, block bad emotions, resist stress, and even value themselves more than they normally would. As author Steve Maraboli observed, “It is impossible to be both grateful and depressed. Those with a grateful mindset tend to see the message in the mess. And even though life may knock them down, the grateful find reasons, if even small ones, to get up.”

As is customary in long speeches with morals, let’s refer to Greek mythology. Agamemnon was never quite content with the power, riches, and women that came with commanding the Greek army. So instead of settling on the second prettiest girl in the land, he stole Cassandra, the prize of Troy. Subsequently, his wife killed him out of jealousy. The end.

Basically, if you don’t have gratitude for what you have, you’ll never be content. Being grateful isn’t an action, it’s a mindset. It’s one people frequently rob themselves of. As we’ve discovered, it is beneficial in many ways. The remarkably credible Law of Attraction cult will tell you that gratitude is essential to manifesting the life you want. I’ll be the first to tell you that at the very least, a severe lack of gratitude will alienate many people. For those of you that have money, even if it’s just enough to pay medical expenses, you have a lot to be grateful for. For those of you in perfect health, most of the world will envy you, too. Even if you have neither, just be grateful for the fact that you can walk normally, and if you can’t do that, you can breathe normally, and if you can’t do that, you can see normally, and if you can’t do that, you can speak normally. Something tells me you can do at least one of those, and if not, I will sit down with you and help you come up with things to be grateful for. In fact, I’ll do that with anyone. Kind of like Thanksgiving but now with even more context and less annoying family… who you ought to be grateful for. But seriously, take my word for it: you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. As the great Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common.”

Thank you for listening, and I hope none of you are being too hard on yourselves right now. Don’t worry: I’ll still see the good in you.

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